


i just can't wait for love to destroy us

by starryeyedweeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But not explicit, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love Confessions, M/M, a teeny tiny bit more than implied, am i doing this right???, i went a lil crazy with the italics, probably not, shit idk what im doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:38:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedweeb/pseuds/starryeyedweeb
Summary: I wrote this at 4 am while listening to Flawless by the Neighbourhood on repeat for 2 hours (hence the name and other references) and this is the second thing I've ever had the balls to publish to pls bear with me





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4 am while listening to Flawless by the Neighbourhood on repeat for 2 hours (hence the name and other references) and this is the second thing I've ever had the balls to publish to pls bear with me

Kageyama would really, _really_ like to blame Hinata for his actions tonight.

He'd love to blame him for the fact that he's _actually_  at a party with loud music and dancing and bright lights. He'd love to blame Hinata for the fact that they're sitting on his bathroom floor, high off their asses, next to unopened beers (Kageyama still feels uncomfortable with drinking) and a now empty bowl.

But he can't.

He never really can say no to the smaller boy, not really. As much as it pisses him off, he'd do anything to see those amber eyes light up because of him. This leads to horrible, humiliating situations that make him wonder why he still associates with this lunatic (he will _never_  go near a ball pit again). He complains constantly to the older boy about his spontaneous, "brilliant" ideas.

(It's bullshit and Hinata knows it. He secretly loves their little adventures).

They're sitting cross legged on either sides of the room, though it's so small and cramped their knees still touch. It's smoky enough to cloud their vision slightly and bring tears to their eyes, but Kageyama swears he can still see every feature on his face clearly, the specks of gold in his eyes, the faint freckles on his nose and cheeks, the tiny scar on the left side of his jawline (he fell out of a tree), and he can only think one thing.

_Flawless_

"Kageyama?" Hinata looks at Kageyama with a face that's much too innocent for the situation. His eyes, which should be duller, less vibrant, are still burning through him and holding the smile his mouth lacks.

"W-what?" It's hard to even get words out around Hinata, especially recently. They've barely talked, barely even _looked_  at each other for the past three weeks. Hinata had been sure to use this as a method of guilt tripping him into coming to his party. It was to celebrate... what _were_  they celebrating? And how did Hinata know enough people to fill up his house?

The movement of Hinata's plump pink lips, shiny and wet from him constantly licking them, brings the younger boy out of his train of thought. Has he been talking this entire time? Even as he actually tries to pay attention to him, he finds himself imagining Hinata's mouth of his, softly and slowly at first, just figuring things out, then it's faster and rougher and there's _tongue_ -

"-Kageyama!" Hinata's eyes are flashing with slight annoyance now, though he can't really stay angry either. He's also not very menacing with an oversized, pastel pink sweater on (a gift from Kageyama), and there's an undertone of sadness on his features that dissipates any previous fierceness.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You never fucking _talk_  to me anymore. Do you really think I brought you here so you could keep ignoring me?" This has been a long time coming, because Kageyama has been sort of a jackass. The volume of his voice completely throws him off. He's loud, and he's yelling seventy five percent of the time, but it's rarely in actual anger and _never_  aimed at Kageyama; not anymore. They're far past that.

"What did I _do_? We're friends now, right? I thought you'd at least _tell_  me stuff now, you know? I just thought we were..." He's quieter now, voice trailing off in a tone that Kageyama _never_  wants to hear from Hinata's mouth again.

"I don-"

"If you deny what I'm saying, I will stab you and cry into your fucking wounds," he says this sharply, surprising the younger boy again because he's _done_ , he won't hear any of this bullshit anymore.

"You really don't think I'd notice that you went from only talking to me to not saying anything? You really don't think I'd care?" His voice still sounds angry, but there's a hint of desperation, and it's beginning to sound a lot like pleading.

Kageyama exhales a breath he'd forgotten he was holding, thankful he'd agreed to smoke; his anxiety had literally dissolved. For now. And now is all he needs.

"I-" Even though there's no weight on his chest and he's not shaking, he cuts off in an attempt to get his words together, to think of some way to even _say_ this type of thing.

"I'm not supposed to even like you. We're rivals, right? We're friends, but we go at each other, we fight. Th-that's what makes sense, that's our thing. But I fucked up, Hinata. I fucked up _bad_. You're probably thinking about how you'll catch up to me when we race (yes you're losing, shut up), and here I am, thinking about your stupid hair that's actually really soft and how your eyes light up when I toss to you and how I wanna kiss your dumb frown off your dumb face when you're sad and _fuck_." He pulls his legs up and buries his head in the space between his knees, praying to anyone listening that Hinata won't stop being his best friend.

He says this in a tone just above a whisper, and could honestly be described as borderline monotone to others, but Hinata _knows_  him; he notices the the heaviness in his voice that sounds a lot like he's holding back tears.

Kageyama can't look at him; he won't. Not even when he hears a timid "Kageyama," not even when he hears a more desperate "Tobio, look at me!"

He does raise his head a little, however, when he feels his legs being pushed down and a weight in his lap. Hinata's straddling his legs and tilting his head a little as he stares at him with an unreadable expression. They just look at each other for a while, attempting to read the other's thoughts but having no desire to actually talk.

Hinata grabs the sides of Kageyama's face and lifts his head so they're eye level. He moves forward and brings their lips together, not quite a kiss, but a hint of one, just enough to for their lips to brush and bring shivers down their spines.

"You know, if we do this, everything changes. We can't take this back." Hinata whispers so softly Kageyama wouldn't have heard it had he had the same listening skills as earlier. It's not a confession, not really, but it sort of is, and Hinata can feel the small, upwards tug of Kageyama's lips at these words.

"Yeah, and I think I've wanted this to since we first played together."

This is all Hinata needs. He slams their mouths together, wasting no time on timidness or languor. It's open-mouthed, desperate, and a bit messy, as they have no experience, but Kageyama swears it's the best moment of his life, and Hinata sees stars.

Hinata's tongue meets Kageyama's, hesitantly at first, then he sucks at it hard enough to make the younger boy's eyes roll back.

He wraps his legs around Kageyama's torso, and Kageyama's arms find their way around his back in an attempt to get closer, _closer_. The smaller boy, though just as inexperienced, takes Kageyama's questions and insecurities and devours them. He grabs the younger boy's hair and tilts his head back, using his gasp in surprise to allow more access to his mouth.

Hinata can't help but chuckle because _wow_ , this is actually happening after months of pining, and all it took was getting the idiot high. Kageyama looks at him quizzically, wondering if he's done something wrong.

"Can I tell you something?" Hinata's eyes still have his childlike glee, though there's a slight glaze over them now that shows that the hours of dancing and smoking have finally caught up with him. Kageyama can make out the thick eyelashes falling over them that look almost doll-like, making even his blinking look seductive.

"Uh, sure," Kageyama really just wants to continue kissing, but he decides that he's probably ignored the boy enough in the past few weeks to last a lifetime.

"I think I've kinda, sorta been in love with you for a long time now." Hinata says this quietly, thoughtfully, and looking him straight in the eyes.

Had Kageyama been sober, he might have freaked out a bit more because this is the one thing he's been dying to hear for _months_ , but right now he's filled with a comforting heaviness that leaves no room for anything but contentment.

"Hinata, I-" he cuts off, unable to get the words that have been on repeat in his head for so long.

"It's ok, I get it." And he does, because Kageyama spent the past three years being put down by others; he's conditioned himself to speak with extreme caution, and unexpected things like this throw him off a bit. He needs time.

Hinata smiles softly and kisses him again; it's lost the vigor from earlier, replaced by gentle touches and him languidly moving his tongue against the setter's.

Kageyama rubs the tips of his thumbs over Hinata's cheekbones as he too relishes in their slower pace. He pushes Hinata's face back a bit, alternating between pressing light kisses on his top and bottom lip before sliding his mouth fully on his spiker's with a sigh.

The outside music no longer resonates in their ears; the noises emitting from both boys have created their own symphony, the sound of their lips separating and reconnecting creating more notes and melodies.

Though their kisses lack urgency, Hinata still finds himself out of breath and moves his lips to the setter's shoulder, panting softly. Kageyama takes this time to press his lips to the soft, tan skin exposed by his shirt slipping off his shoulder. He starts at Hinata's jawline, moving to the spot just under his ear, where it meets his neck and sucking _h_ _ard_ , forcing a small gasp from the smaller boy. He moves further down until he meets Hinata's collarbone, nipping slightly and humming happily as Hinata inhales sharply and runs his fingers through Kageyama's hair and grips hard enough to hurt slightly.

The lack of speed does little to diminish the heat pooling in Kageyama's stomach. His mind is thrown into hyperdrive when Hinata raises himself on his knees and rolls his hips forward excruciatingly slow but _hard_ , hard enough to rip the remaining air from his lungs.

He does it again, once, twice, three times until Kageyama's hands fly to the smaller boy's hips to keep this from going somewhere they've yet to even discuss. Hinata looks at him, eyes glazed over, swollen red lips parted slightly, and he looks so good that Kageyama can't help but pull him in for another open-mouthed kiss before he starts talking.

"Hinata," he pauses for another kiss.

"How far do you want this to go? W-we can stop if you want to..." He says this, but they both know how Hinata feels about this; it's more Kageyama questioning himself. Hinata, though aware of the double meaning behind the question, answers with certainty and something Kageyama will later realize as love.

"All the way." He crushes their lips together again, feeling Kageyama's stomach tighten as he reaches his hands under his shirt, peeling it off in the process. Kageyama lifts them off the floor, carrying Hinata to the connecting bedroom without disconnecting their lips.

They collapse on the bed in a tangled mess, running their hands over as much of the other boy as they can. Kageyama takes this time to remove Hinata's shirt and slide his hand over his small, lithe body, enjoying the way he raises his torso, leaning into his touch.

Kageyama grabs Hinata's hips and rolls his down hard to meet them, causing him to gasp softly and grip his arms with the strength to bruise. He runs his hand down the smaller boy's chest slowly and deliberately, only faltering when he hooks a finger under the waistband of his underwear. Hinata, sensing the hesitation, lifts his face gently but determinedly, rubbing his thumbs over his cheekbones before repeating his words from earlier, loudly and more slowly.

"All the way."

He pulls Kageyama even closer, wasting no time before reaching into his pants and causing the setter to gasp almost inaudibly against his lips. Kageyama finally reciprocates, forcing all nervousness from his mind and focusing on the boy of his dreams panting under him.

It's obviously clumsy, as they both have no experience outside of their own hand, but the noises slipping from Hinata's mouth make any awkwardness completely worth it, and Hinata takes a mental picture of Kageyama leaning over him, eyes hooded with lust and brows furrowed in concentration.

Once it's over, Kageyama stares down at Hinata, looking absolutely wrecked, cheeks flushed, lips bright pink and swollen, and small purple-red marks littering his neck and shoulders like a constellation. Even as Hinata shoves at him, grumbling about a shower with hair messier than he thought possible, Kageyama can only think one thing:

_Flawless_

**Author's Note:**

> I've literally only smoked once in my life and I am a shy lesbian who can barely handle people holding my hand so why am I writing this ??? the world may never know ^.^
> 
> No but in all seriousness, this is a completely different writing style than what I'm used to (I usually write in past tense so this was really weird) so criticism is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!


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